Reasons why my computer is better than yours:
1. Windows Milennium is regestered to BALLSY-T HOTGARBAGE
2. 512 megs of ram proves that I have no life
3. I've gotten lost in my vast 68 gigs of hard drive space that YOU DON'T HAVE!!!
4. It's survived through many spilling incidents (mostly Dr. Pepper)
5. It's addicted to crack (just seeing if you're paying attention)
6. Multiple boots to: Windows ME / Corel Linux SE / BeOS 5
7. My computer sold your dog to a Japanese Restaurant
8. When my computer crashes, it has a mauve screen of death. Its more pleasing to the eye
9. While your computer may count processor speed in megahertz, mine counts in HUMUNGA-HERTZ! I've got about 233 of those
10. My computer also makes popcorn
If you weren't sure if I was a computer nerd before, I have just removed all doubt.